It's November 29th and I'm pulling a 16lb turkey out of my oven, whisking gravy and chopping up celery and onions. A little late you might think? It's not all my fault. My husband is half to blame.
This year, around 1pm on last Thursday, yes, THE famous Thursday, I looked around my kitchen and stared at the clean room. We had out-of-town family coming in, so I wanted it to be in respectable condition. The day before I hired a "Rescue" cleaner to help me out, as this is my busiest time of the year in my business. I opened the cupboard to look at the perfectly clean bowls, the roasting pan tucked away on the shelf in the closet, meat lifters, and gravy separator, longing for action! German steel cutlery shiny and at home, in the knife block. Not only was I NOT hosting this year, I was told to bring an appetizer. An appetizer, yep. That is it! A boring, old veggie tray even. Nothing fancy.
It's true, we have great cooks in our family. All under-utilized this year. Highly skilled, Karen was bringing wine, Mary, "queen of the home-made chex mix" off the hook. Mo was out of town, and Grandma was not even required to make her traditional "moldy saddle" (also known as a "molded salad") ... Only Megan, a professionally trained pastry chef was making anything - and it was a delicious apple cake and a peanut butter chocolate pie (Good call on that one). My dad was making everything else! My Mom was assisting. Second seating was at my Mother-in-law's house - and we were having turkey sandwiches for the second Thanksgiving meal, since it was a later-night get together, so I didn't need to bring anything there either! All done. Don't get me wrong, it's really nice to show up and not bring anything. No pressure, no last minute running around. Very relaxing.
What is wrong with me then, you ask? Why am I duplicating a menu that I did not have to do this year?
I confess, something is clearly wrong with me. I actually enjoy it. That, and the fact that we didn't come home with enough left-overs! It was Matt's idea to make the turkey, and thanks to a big turkey sale at Sam's club yesterday, here we are! The good news is we have plenty. (I am shaking my head thinking, really, what am I doing??) Let me know if you are hungry, dinner is served at 5pm.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
How to handle a Heckler
I don't care what kind of speaker you are, whether it is in direct sales, consulting or teaching, once in a while you get a heckler. Definition of heckle: heck·le (h
k
l)tr.v. heck·led, heck·ling, heck·les:
kl)tr.v. heck·led, heck·ling, heck·les: To try to embarrass and annoy (someone speaking or performing in public) by questions, gibes, or objections; badger.
The first of my top two favorite "heckled moments" was when I was at a cooking show and someone was constantly questioning the competency of my products. As I was showing the apple peeler, the woman shouted at me from across the room: "That can't work!" As I disproved her first heckle, she then said "ya, but I just use a knife, it's faster!" And I continued calmly finishing my recipe. Several more comments came and my patience was definitely being put to the test. She forged on and shouted "I bet it won't work on green apples!" So finally I stopped what I was doing and said to her, "Lisa, come on up here, and finish this recipe for me - I want you to help me show everyone how easy this really is." After objecting and shaking her head, the crowd turned on her and started pushing her up to the front and saying " ya, Lisa, go ahead!!!" It was clear to me at that moment that I had the crowd on my side. A now red-faced Lisa came to the front of the room and quietly helped me complete the recipe, peeling, coring and slicing the last of the apples. Quickly sitting down after the recipe, I never heard a peep out of her the rest of the show! Solution to heckling situation #1 - make the heckler come to the front of the room.
The second heckler was a man at the show. The only man at the show, mind you - but he was constantly asking questions during the demonstration. "Can that go in the dishwasher? Cause if it can't, I don't want it!" "Is that big enough to fit in MY microwave - cause if it doesn't, then it's NO GOOD!" The questions kept coming and they all had the same "it's not good if it can't pass my test" kind of ring to it. I just kept trying to calmly answer, and field one at a time. Finally I got the Kitchen Shears out - and as I was snipping something, I said "And they are strong enough to cut through Chicken Bones." And Tom, the heckler yells out "YES, but can they cut through LEATHER~!???" And I snapped back, "I don't know! Go get your COAT and we will find out!!! He stopped heckling me at that point. Solution to heckling situation #2 - heckle back.
It's hard to be patient all the time.My best advice is that even if you snap, do it with a smile on your face and always laugh afterward. Even if you aren't enjoying it, people will think you are!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Ode to Grandma -It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without the Stollen
I have to make a confession, I hardly worked at all today. Today was "Stollen Day" at my Grandmas and Stollen is no quick bread! One of my favorite perks of a Direct Sales business is the "Flexible" workday. Many people confuse the Flexible with Optional and I know it is misleading from the front door looking in.
If you know my Grandma, you know that she is 100 years old. You'd also know that she gets around pretty good for 100 too. Making Stollen is one of the things that her Senior-Citizen- Children ask her for every year. The hardest part for her is the kneading of the dough so that is what her servant is for (that is me, in case you were wondering). My Grandma is so good she has the recipe memorized. She knows what the temperature of the "sponge" needs to be by touch. (The "sponge" as she calls it, is the foamy milk/butter/sugar mixture that she then adds yeast to.) She is so old school that her recipes call for Oleo (butter?) and Nut Meats (When asked what that was she replied "well it's the meat of the nut!" she was kind enough not to say "duh" at the end.)
But the best part of cooking with Grandma isn't learning her recipes or even eating the results. What I love the most about cooking with Grandma is the funny stories she tells me. Today she said " you know the story about cutting the end off the ham, right?" I hadn't remembered this one... So she started... "There was a lady that was making a ham and right before she put it in the pan, she cut the end off. And her husband said, "Why did you cut the end off the ham?" And she said "Because my mother always did!" So then one day her mother came to dinner and the husband said :"why do you always cut the end off the ham?" And mom replied, "Because my mother always did!" And so one day, they went to visit Grandma and the husband said "Grandma, I'm dying to know why you always cut the end off the ham!?" And Grandma replied, "Because it didn't fit in the pan!"
If you know my Grandma, you know that she is 100 years old. You'd also know that she gets around pretty good for 100 too. Making Stollen is one of the things that her Senior-Citizen- Children ask her for every year. The hardest part for her is the kneading of the dough so that is what her servant is for (that is me, in case you were wondering). My Grandma is so good she has the recipe memorized. She knows what the temperature of the "sponge" needs to be by touch. (The "sponge" as she calls it, is the foamy milk/butter/sugar mixture that she then adds yeast to.) She is so old school that her recipes call for Oleo (butter?) and Nut Meats (When asked what that was she replied "well it's the meat of the nut!" she was kind enough not to say "duh" at the end.)
But the best part of cooking with Grandma isn't learning her recipes or even eating the results. What I love the most about cooking with Grandma is the funny stories she tells me. Today she said " you know the story about cutting the end off the ham, right?" I hadn't remembered this one... So she started... "There was a lady that was making a ham and right before she put it in the pan, she cut the end off. And her husband said, "Why did you cut the end off the ham?" And she said "Because my mother always did!" So then one day her mother came to dinner and the husband said :"why do you always cut the end off the ham?" And mom replied, "Because my mother always did!" And so one day, they went to visit Grandma and the husband said "Grandma, I'm dying to know why you always cut the end off the ham!?" And Grandma replied, "Because it didn't fit in the pan!"
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Gastric Distress
I realize that I'm on a sickness tangent ... but I had another flash back. I shuddered as I recalled a night, somewhat like tonight, around 11 years ago. (Sorry, I couldn't help myself, with Halloween just past, it feels like I'm telling a ghost story...) I had recently given birth to my daughter Madeline and was just getting back to business. The hostess was expecting a BIG crowd. I remember her being very concerned that there would be enough seating. I always tell my hosts, "I have NEVER had a party where we had to turn people away at the door because they didn't fit!" But she rented chairs anyway!
So I arrived at the party about 30 minutes early and started setting up my table. A couple friendly faces started to arrive, including my high school friend, and her mom, and a couple other ladies I knew. All of a sudden, I started to have shooting pains near my stomach and radiating into my back. I was near doubled over and swiftly dashed to the restroom. I was certain that my body was under attack, but did not know what was going on. As I was sitting on the stool, I looked down and to my surprise I saw a magazine rack full of Playboy magazines. In the first floor powder room? Really?? Anyway, back to the pain. I was sweating and whimpering, and finally someone knocked on the door to ask if I was ok. I opened the door and told them if I wasn't better in about 10 minutes, I would consider calling the ambulance.
Luckily, the pain subsided quickly and I was able to proceed with the show. It was a good thing, because 25 people were there, and $1,000+ later in sales, and 3 bookings, I would have been sad to leave! Of all the drama that happened that night with my gallbladder, I couldn't stop thinking about who has Playboy magazines in their first floor bathroom? The next week I had my gallbladder removed, and was only out for a few days. NEXT!
So I arrived at the party about 30 minutes early and started setting up my table. A couple friendly faces started to arrive, including my high school friend, and her mom, and a couple other ladies I knew. All of a sudden, I started to have shooting pains near my stomach and radiating into my back. I was near doubled over and swiftly dashed to the restroom. I was certain that my body was under attack, but did not know what was going on. As I was sitting on the stool, I looked down and to my surprise I saw a magazine rack full of Playboy magazines. In the first floor powder room? Really?? Anyway, back to the pain. I was sweating and whimpering, and finally someone knocked on the door to ask if I was ok. I opened the door and told them if I wasn't better in about 10 minutes, I would consider calling the ambulance.
Luckily, the pain subsided quickly and I was able to proceed with the show. It was a good thing, because 25 people were there, and $1,000+ later in sales, and 3 bookings, I would have been sad to leave! Of all the drama that happened that night with my gallbladder, I couldn't stop thinking about who has Playboy magazines in their first floor bathroom? The next week I had my gallbladder removed, and was only out for a few days. NEXT!
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