Sexy Can Opener

I know what you are thinking, "oh really? How exactly can a can opener be sexy?" Well, I have to laugh because I didn't realize it at first either!. I think it all started with the Everyone Loves Raymond episode about the misunderstood can opener. Everyone Loves Raymond Can Opener.    We added a new smooth-edge can opener to the line and it was HUGELY misunderstood. No one seemed to be able to understand the concept that this can opener is not put on the side of the can.

Some of the consultants were really struggling with how to explain how to use it. We would often get calls asking us for help. So, I was at one of our meetings and I was asked to give my can opener explanation. And it goes like this:   "First you take the can opener and put it in the horizontal position. Then you open up the legs of the can opener and bump it up to the can. Once you are touching the can, you close the legs and slowly turn the handle and go all the way around. You will feel a slight release of pressure. Then you take the can opener, and using the small wrench on the side, you take the top right off. And you are finished!"   I had NO idea any of this sounded risque until my Director said "No WONDER you are selling a ton of can openers - wow!" And something sort of clicked in my head of OHHH.... Not one person had giggled, ever,  when I had said it that way. YET. 

So after that point, I could never say it with the same innocence. As soon as I would start "and you put the can opener in the horizontal position." I would start to smirk. And so it went. At almost every show that I used the can opener I would get anywhere from embarrassed giggles to uproarious laughter. Mostly being ladies in the crowd, we would sometimes get almost a "Bachelorette Party" moment. I had learned how to read the crowd - the moment I would say "put the can opener in the horizontal position," I would then look up and see if anyone had picked up on it... or I would start with "this might sound a little risque..."  Anyway, it worked for me. It was just a funny moment. I could tell when to play it straight and when to crank it up. I had shared this funny way of explaining the can opener to my team of consultants and even at a Conference word had spread and we would laugh and I would share it. All somewhat innocent fun.

But unfortunately there were casualties. One of my new consultants started in on the "sexed up" can opener and she went a little overboard. I believe she may have even added a hip-grinding motion and she referred to the can opener as "HER".   So it sounded a little more like "when you bump HER up to the can (insert hip grinding motion...)"   Sadly this crowd was a VERY religious group and the hostess was mortified. She apparently sent my poor new consultant a nasty note the next day. The host was so upset she wrote apology letters to every guest. Yikes. I don' t know what to say. I guess you really have to know your audience when you sex-up the products.